How To Turn Your Life Around

My Key Secrets To Becoming A Successful Black Woman Entrepreneur

“I always wanted to be somebody. If I made it, it’s half because I was game enough to take a lot of punishment along the way and half because there were a lot of people who cared enough to help me.” Althea Gibson

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When I made the choice to be successful in business, it meant that I wasn’t going to make excuses anymore for why my life had become so challenging.

No more saying, “If my mom hadn’t neglected me as a child, I would be further ahead!”

“Not making excuses” doesn’t mean that my reasons for being upset, sad, or angry at people in my life for difficult situations I have gone through weren’t legitimate.

I was angry at my children’s father for not being the promise I wanted him to be. I was hurt that my mother didn’t show me the love that I felt I deserved as her daughter and still doesn’t. I was upset that I was abused physically and emotionally in my marriages and miscarried two babies due to that stress.

But when I decided “not to make excuses” it means that I decided that I wasn’t going to be fueled by those negative emotions anymore. I was going to forgive for ME so that I can move forward in positivity and optimism and favor.

I was going to take full responsibility for turning my life around. I was no longer going to blame others for my impeded progress, even if it it was certainly true.

I was just going to put my focus on changing my life.

This was a defining moment of responsibility and determination to steer my life in a particular direction.

I had decided that no matter what my circumstances were at the present moment, they wouldn’t stay that way as long as I could do whatever I could to grow and change and do better in my own life.

That’s a lot. 

That’s telling all of the universal forces at work in your life that you’re not going to stand for a lower standard of life and that you’re worthy to achieve greatness in your lifetime despite your environment.

Powerful words. Powerful feelings. Powerful woman. 

No circumstance is beyond your ability to achieve more.

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Your world is only as big as your thoughts about it are.

This means that your ability to believe that you can become successful is the first obstacle you have to overcome.

I blamed my mother for not providing the necessary foundation I needed to know my value.

Once I realized that I could believe in myself and create my own foundation for knowing my worth, I didn’t need to blame anyone else for what I didn’t have.

This is not easy.

It takes time to get to know yourself.

Learning how to love yourself is the key to realizing that you are capable of being able to nurture yourself.

Many times we are angry at others for not providing the nurturing we felt we deserved.

Part of being an adult is learning how to be that nurturing figure for yourself. Learning how to heal your own wounds is part of being an adult and learning how to grow and move forward.

You can do it and you can live life well despite the existence of those obstacles.

If you don’t see people like you achieving success around you…

…then look outside of your environment.

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You will try to adapt to your surroundings, so if others around you are struggling, you will reflect their struggle out of empathy.

Seek to surround yourself with people who reflect the success you want.

You can model after anyone you choose.

Or you can become that picture – create what you believe there should be more of in the world.

There is always something to give up for success. Becoming successful is a trade off.

Sometimes you have to give up friends that you once had a lot in common with but have since out-grown. This can be painful to lose friendships that have been dear to you.

Sometimes you have to give up large amounts of your time while you overcome learning hurdles and become better familiar with your business. This can also be painful when you miss out on family time or time with friends.

Know that this should be temporary and that you need to schedule time for you family!

What do you believe are your greatest obstacles to success? Are they internal or external?

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